Today’s workplace thrives on diverse individuals, their unique skills, and varying perspectives. Teams that flourish do so based upon clear goals and objectives, trust and respect among team members, and thoughtful conversations where opposing views are respected and explored.
However, challenges emerge when certain team members not only resist cohesion but actively contribute to conflict and discomfort, potentially disrupting the entire team’s dynamics. In this article, I address 4 Personality Types that will elevate your blood pressure and test your emotional and mental mettle. Fear not as I will also offer constructive tips for dealing with these Office Jerks.
Let’s get started with The 4 Personality Types.
1. “The Backstabber”—This individual is TOXIC and will destroy team harmony and company MORALE in a New York minute. They seldom have anything good to say about anyone, including those with whom they share their secrets.
In their bid to gain favor with those who harshly criticize their colleagues, they will readily agree, rather than step up and defend their co-workers. When leaks of disparaging comments occur and team members become aware, Backstabbers will deny any knowledge and refute all allegations. Informants, fearing retribution from “The Backstabber”, often choose to not speak on the record.
The lyrics of the popular O’Jays song aptly describe these individuals. “They smilin’ in your face, all the time they want to take your place, the backstabbers”.
Integrity in Communication—The Antidote to Backstabbing—How do you countermand these spineless menaces? Years ago, at a Customer Service Summit in Cleveland, Ohio, Sheldon Harris, the former CEO of Coldstone Creamery, unveiled 3 promises he extended to his C-Suite executives upon joining a new company.
i. “I promise I will never say anything about you that I’m not saying to you.
ii. I expect the same from you—that you won’t say anything about me that you’re not saying to me.
iii. I challenge you to make the same promise to everyone you work with”.
Can you imagine a company culture where every employee was bound by the same promises of open communication and support? What if there was Zero Tolerance for speaking behind other employees’ backs? How would Backstabbers behave if they were immediately shut down by their colleagues and instructed to address the person with whom they have issues directly? Imagine the transformative impact that such an arrangement could have on interpersonal relationships, company morale, collaboration, productivity, and overall performance.
2. The “Blame Gamer”—When I consider individuals who are quick to point a finger and play the blame game when things go awry, I think of the character George Costanza, from the TV show Seinfeld. There’s a specific episode where George is attending a child’s birthday party at a friend’s apartment and a fire erupts in the kitchen. In an act of cowardice, George shoves the women and children aside, including the hired birthday clown, so he can save himself by being the first one out the door.
Oddly enough, I worked with someone who resembled George to a remarkable degree, blame-gaming tendencies, and all. He was quick to try and weasel out of any responsibility for underperformance, immediately singling out others at the first sign of trouble. “Blame Gamers” often respond with excuses like “I thought you had that covered” or “No one told me”.
Cover all your bases—While project managers and meticulously organized spreadsheets with timelines and assigned responsibilities can help minimize confusion regarding task management, they can’t guarantee the success of a project or program.
When the “Blame Gamer” tries to shirk strategic or tactical responsibility, here are some strategies for addressing their cowardice.
i. Take the conversation from a public forum to a private one. In the private setting, lay down the law regarding acceptable and unacceptable behavior to the “Blame Gamer” and their boss.
ii. Take a page from Sheldon Harris’ promise to his fellow C-Suite executives. Inform the “Blame Gamer” that if you have a criticism, you will voice it to them alone and not their peers. Make it clear that you expect the same from them.
iii. Encourage them to grab ahold of their local sports pages and read who receives the accolades when a sports team emerges victorious. It will reveal that after a win, the coach credits the players, the trainers, the talent evaluators, the scouts, the analysts, and the support staff…everyone BUT themselves. However, in the case of a loss, the lone individual shouldering the blame is the coach. “Blame Gamers”, especially those who aspire to someday lead others, best follow suit.
iv. Have the “Blame Gamer” exercise their pointing finger one last time. As they do so, ask them to reveal how many fingers are pointing right back at them. Hopefully, they’ll keep that in mind the next time they’re tempted to point the blame at anyone other than themselves.
3. The “One-Bagger”—To coin a description from the late author and spiritual teacher, Wayne Dyer, a “One-Bagger” refers to the supermarket grocery bagger who, no matter the length of the wait line or the speed with which the cashier rings up the groceries, adheres to a single packing speed: SLOW. In stark contrast, their cross-aisle counterpart, the “Two-Bagger”, effortlessly juggles two checkout lanes, matching the speedy tempo of two ringing cashiers. The divergence between the “Two-Bagger” extends beyond their packing prowess; it speaks to their high level of engagement, the way they interact with their co-workers, and how they meet and greet customers.
A “One-Bagger” isn’t just a supermarket archetype; they permeate workplaces too. If there’s a looming deadline, brace yourself if you’re reliant on the assistance of a “One-Bagger”. They’re not about to up their pace or readjust their schedule unless a superior intervenes with an authoritative mandate…in which case, you’ll become persona non-grata from that point forward. According to Gallup’s Global Workplace Report, “One-Baggers” form a disconcerting 52% of unengaged U.S. workers. An additional 17% are classified as actively disengaged.
How to Win Friends and Influence “One-Baggers”—Tipping the scales from disinterested employees to engaged contributors requires a metamorphosis where the employee experience is center stage.
Who better to learn from than highly engaged employees to capture what associates value most and the cultures in which they thrive. Here’s what matters.
i. A company culture that celebrates people and their diversity, where employees feel safe, appreciated, and their opinions valued. Equally essential is a workplace environment that focuses on employee well-being, prioritizing work-life balance, and employees’ mental and emotional health.
ii. Transparent leaders who communicate frequently and openly, explaining the thought process behind their decision-making, and the expectant results. These leaders prioritize employees first, understanding that if they take care of their employees, their employees will take care of their customers, which in turn, results in happy stakeholders.
iii. Setting clear, realistic performance goals and ensuring that every team member understands how their daily work aligns with the company’s strategic initiatives.
iv. Investing in the development of employees to further their careers and help them reach their full potential.
4. The “Egotist”—Seldom has there been a shortage of oversized egos in the workplace, no matter the company size. However, its existence has become increasingly prevalent, a trend accelerated by a cultural “norm” that surfaced in the early 1990s of awarding children participation trophies for merely showing up, regardless of individual or team accomplishments.
Having been shielded from disappointments and setbacks, many developed misguided notions about their own capabilities and their deservedness of recognition. Well-intentioned parents, in their efforts to raise high self-esteem children, fueled this mindset, by showering their kids with praise for the tiniest achievements. As these “prodigies” transitioned into adulthood, their upbringings left many with a profoundly inflated sense of self-worth.
Upon entering the workforce, The Egotists’ unwavering belief about their “specialness” causes them to quickly dismiss others’ ideas. Consequently, they struggle to collaborate effectively, frequently concluding that their viewpoints are the only one’s worth pursuing. Not surprisingly, they’re resistant to feedback or constructive criticism, believing that their ideas are beyond reproach. Their exaggerated sense of self-worth and inflated opinions of their job performance and promotability set the stage for recurring disappointment and unrealized expectations.
Overcoming Workplace Arrogance: Suggestions for Dealing With Egotistical Co-workers—These are without question, the most challenging personalities to deal with. Egotists often come across as rude, condescending, unyielding, dismissive, and unopen to feedback. Here are some strategies to help you survive these interactions and maintain your sanity.
i. Get deeply curious about the opinions they hold today. Release all judgment as you consider what might be behind their passionate viewpoints. What is it they hope to gain from their position?
ii. Validate their ideas and contributions while also emphasizing the importance of a collaborative effort. Seldom is anyone 100% right or wrong. What if they’re at least 30% right? How would that alter your opinions?
iii. Practice creative brainstorming. Here’s a powerful technique from Stanford Professor Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence.
a) Begin with one person sharing their idea.
b) The next participant responds with, “What I like about that idea is…” at which point, they express something positive about the idea. They then follow up with “And…” where they can choose to build upon the shared idea, expound upon a previous one, or introduce an entirely new one.
c) This process continues until all the parties have participated. It can run from a single round to multiple rounds. It’s a highly creative approach for fostering innovation and effective problem-solving.
iv. Encourage open discussions and emphasize the need for active listening.
v. Model the very behaviors that you wish to inspire in Egotists.
To navigate these often-difficult personality types, applying the strategies suggested above will foster a culture of success, achievement, and mutual respect and transform the office jungle into a place where individuals thrive and teams flourish.
What difficult personality types have you encountered and what advice would you give for effectively dealing with these challenging individuals? Please share your thoughts.